I’m ready to be with friends and family, to have a long hot bath, to sleep in my own bed, to work in my studio, to walk in the mountains, to eat green chile, to see the sunset reflected pink on the Sandias, and to gaze into the deep, cerulean blue skies of New Mexico.

I’m sad to leave behind the friends I’ve made here, the warmth of the people and the sun, the world of unbelievably vibrant colors, the smell of tacos in the street, the taste of mole, the beautiful courtyards  buildings, arches, and churches of Colonial Yucatan, the trees, the ever present

mother Goddess in the form of the Virgin, the many, many inspirations from the mystery of Merida, the soft sound of the mayan words and the call of the ancestors.

I planted myself in Merida, just scratching the surface of this enigmatic city.  Everything is hidden here, revealed slowly.

Walk down a street many times and finally one day you’ll discover a jewel that’s was there all along –

a chocolate cafe with a beautiful patio and delicious hot chocolate, an artisans market with a restaurant at the back who serves the best mole enchiladas – rich and chocolaty.

Did I mention that I love chocolate. The history of chocolate begins in Mesoamerica, with evidence of cacao beverages dating back to 1900 BCE. Our modern word comes from the Mayan word Xocoatl.

Check back over the next few weeks as I slowly, slowly incorporate and express my experiences here in the Yucatan, the world of the Maya.  Mexico, a mystery never completely revealed, is full of irony and contrasts.  I know I’ll return again and again.

Winter Solstice, I walked the roads of  Dzibilchatun, an ancient Mayan site near the Gulf, occupied from 300BC to the Conquest.  The Temple of the Dolls, greats the dawn sun on each equinox, allowing His magnificence to shine thru Her central doors.

Mexico mystique, Mayan mysteries, are foreign to my bloodline. And yet this new dawn brings the realization to the world that we are one Human Race, all connected.  A thread runs through all the creatures of the Sea and the Earth to the rocks, the trees, the plants, to the stars and beyond to the great unknown.

I – quiet amongst the trees growing out of the stones, the bones of the ancestors homes; breathing in the holiness of leaves and grass.

The last of my mother’s living sisters died on this Winter Solstice.  Bush, mother of Helen and Trudy and Lynne, chose a day of power for her departure.

Treading the path of the ancient Mayans has opened my heart to my own departed loved ones.  Margaret, mother of Anne and Susan and Judith, long gone from this world, whispers to me in these days. Remembrance stays the hand of death.

On this day of the Winter Solstice the sun stands still in its yearly turning back to the light, bringing a renewal, an awakening, a quickening of my soul.

I arrived to find all the plazas and parks of the historic district closed for renovations.  Old cobblestones and red brick walkways are being replaced with shining new cement.  Locals are pretty cynical, but then Mexicans are used to being screwed by their government. Good timing Gov, right at the height of the tourist season which is so important to the many shop owners and artisans.

The Portal along the Plaza Grande – the wall in the left background was still hiding the Plaza Grande.

Hidalgo Park is hidden behind the green wall

A few days ago the walls finally came down which had been hiding the Plaza Grande from view.  Work goes on but at least the locals and the toursits can walk through, sit, and engage in the favorite past time of people watching.  I attracted quite a crowd when I spent the morning drawing a big, beautiful laurel tree, with a portion of the Cathedral in the background.

The Catedral de San Idelfonso was built on the site of a  Mayan temple (1561 – 1598), using some of the stones from the Mayan temple. Unlike most Mexican churches, the interior is not painted, as much of its decoration was stripped away during the Mexican Revolution.  Perhaps because the stones are not covered, I feel the Mayan presence strongly when I sit in the Catedral.

I’m not a Christian but I always get such a feeling of peace in the old cathedrals of Europe and Mexico.  The Catedral de San Idelfonso, with its bare stones from the days of the Maya, finally opened me to an understanding of the role that sacred geometry plays in these churches.  They are all built using principles of sacred geometry embedded in the architecture.  That energy transcends theology and dogma, speaking to all who have ears open to listen.

The Governor's Palace which borders the Plaza Grande

Finally the walls came down and the artists can sell their paintings here again.

The large statue of Kuan Yin rules the asphalt parking lot with reminders of the importance of love and compassion.  She called to me to find beauty in the ugliness.

Just in front of the Buddhist Temple is a patch of golden sunflowers that match the color on the walls of the tire shop across the street.  That burst of yellow beckons and I take off down the side street.   Here I discover an assortment of trailer homes, little unknown churches,  and truckyards.

Beyond the truckyard is an odd fixture of the Albuquerque International District, the huge statue of a lumber jack.  A front view of this big guy, reveals that he sits atop one of ABQ’s favorite Vietnamese restaurants, May Cafe.  He’s been here since long before this area was named “The International District”.

Though we have residents from many countries, the main flavor of the International District is Southeast Asian and Latin/Hispanic. This main demographic mixes up with Anglos, Africans, African-Americans, New Mexican Hispanics  and probably others I’m not even aware of.

Riding down this street a few blocks to the next busy street, I leave behind the flavor of Southeast Asia, to arrive at the Mexican market, El Mesquite.  Walking through the doors of this store you’ll find yourself transported to Mexico as you come upon hanging piñatas, aisles of chilis, rows of Mexican canned good favorites and a staff who speak mainly Spanish.

On this street you’ll see the ubiquitous billboard selling alcohol, always a fixture in poor neighborhoods.

Doubling back, heading south and moving past the more suburban neighborhood feel of the streets close to my house, I cross Louisiana and head into the heart of the International District.

It’s a crisp, clear fall day and even the abandoned shopping cart surrounded by weeds looks good in the sun.  People are out walking, a homeless man is pushing his shopping cart, kids play in a trash littered park, and weeds grow up around trees in another park.

But the spirit and desire for beauty and meaning are evident here. One home sports a mural of the Virgin de Guadalupe, reigning Goddess in New Mexico.  Another home displays their spirituality with a Christian altar in their garden.

A few streets over there’s another Buddhist temple tucked quietly into the neighborhood.  These testaments to the beauty of the human spirit and the cross-cultural need for the sacred stand out like bright jewels of the neighborhood.

I love the irony of this scene – the rundown apartment buildings with the city sign in front, calling for a restoration of beauty.  And right next door I’m tested to find the beauty in  garbage.

Riding on through the neighborhood I encounter a jumble of sights, both beautiful and ugly.

Let’s not forget the significance of the  traffic circle.  Differing from traffic circles found at busy intersections to help with the flow of traffic, the International District has numerous traffic circles at the intersection of quiet neighborhood streets.  Unlike a simple stop sign, the traffic circle slows down anyone trying to run away from the police.  The police do have a very strong presence in this neighborhood.

I ride full circle, ending up at the Buddhist Temple of NM again.  Now the monks are out working on the roof so I stop in to say “Hi”.  One monk comes over to talk, with a big smile on his face. We chat a bit; I discover they are from Thailand.  Then he invited me to go inside and see their altar.  The sights and sounds of the neighborhood slip away as I step through the door to see more sacred beauty created on this little corner of a decaying inner city neighborhood.

I recently finished a painting which illustrates the mystery in which a painter can find herself.  After the painting, The Olive Tree, sold I went into mini-mourning, feeling it’s absence in my home.  A new tree called to me, the Tree of Life.

I dove into this painting.  Not sure what form it would take, I first envisioned it as full, full, full of foliage. And so it started .  But soon after, I felt the need to lose much of the foliage, anguishing that I was letting go of painting a tree of life.  Then I added the Seed of Life embedded underneath the middle of the tree

More foliage was lost and the stylized leaves made their appearance.  By this time I was in an unstoppable rhythm.  With each new color or form I added to the painting, it spoke to me, telling me what was needed next.  Once again the thought “what would would make this a Tree of Life” surfaced within my rhythm.

The Tree of Life is one of the most ancient symbols of the awareness of the one source, the descent of the divine into the manifest world, and methods by which the divine union may be attained in this life.  It symbolizes unity and love. The structure of the Tree of Life is connected to the sacred teachings of the Jewish Kabbalah but can be seen 3,000 years earlier in Egypt, as well as being found in Christianity, Hermeticism and Paganism.

I decided to do an internet search for a Sacred Geometry symbol for the Tree of Life.

Flower of Life

Seed of Life

Kabbalah Tree of Life

The symbol of the Tree of Life is derived from the Flower of Life. It is composed by highlighting ten  centers of the circles of the Flower of Life and the Seed of Life.  Along with the Seed of Life, it is believed to be part of the geometry that parallels the cycle of the fruit tree. This relationship is implied when these two forms are superimposed onto each other.

A quick sketch of these two forms together and I was back at my easel.  I added the circles that make up the Tree of Life in the correct places on the Seed of Life, whose further expansion implies the Flower of Life.   I stepped back from my canvas in amazement.  The branches of the tree in my painting were crossing intersection points, the circle centers, on the Seed of Life, exactly where the Tree of Life circles were added.

Once again I asked myself, who is really in charge here.  Without consciously knowing what I was doing I had already positioned this tree correctly to be a true Sacred Geometry Tree of Life.  Very mysterious, wouldn’t you say?

The salmon, who run up the rivers to spawn, bring lots of nitrogen with them.  It’s stored in their bodies from the food they eat in the oceans.  Bears and eagles and other critters eat the salmon and then leave their poop, filled with nitrogen, on the forest floor, which feeds the trees and helps them grow.  Of course the salmon need the trees also, to keep the rivers cool and to provide their food.

A quick miniature canvas of a little birdie.

Even more amazing is that the part of the salmon the bears leave behind gets consumed by flies who then lay their eggs.  These eggs, loaded with nitrogen hatch in the spring just as birds from South American are flying north to have their little birdies.  So now the nitrogen is in the birds who will eventually head back down South and leave some of it there. Plus many of the salmon die in the river, leaving behind a rich layer of nitrogen on the river bed.

So the oceans are linked to the rivers and lakes, which are linked to the forest which is linked to South America.  It’s all connected.  It’s all one whole

Hearing this explanation reminded me that I had a dream vision a few months ago which I had jotted down in my journal.  My vision was one of trees and humans and other mammals all connected in one great matrix.  Now I’ve got rivers and fish and birds to add to this vision.  I feel a new painting about to begin.

Click here to view a video of Suzuki on this topic.

I believe this is what has happened for me – I’ve reached a plateau where the sustained consciousness and information is now energy which is becoming matter.

For my whole life I’ve know that one of my main purposes in life is to create art which expresses the beauty and oneness of everything.

Every time I’d start to move in the direction which allowed me to actually make my living as an artist, I’d break away into fear.  My intentions to create art remained the same but my choices of how to spend my time (energy) shifted because of the fear.

Of couse the energy would then shift too and I’d find my material world full of a different energy than that of an artist.  I’d see materialized the energy of a waitress or a teacher or a video producer over and over again.

Any one of these things are fine in and of themselves.  They just aren’t fine for me, as my soul seems to shrivel and lose its shine in direct correlation to the loss of time for painting.  I know it’s archaic, but what’s a painter to do.

It’s now been five months since I decided to no longer consider myself as unemployed but to claim my power as a self-employed artist.  Some days I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pay the next bill but then I take a deep breathe and return to my intentions, belief and choices which then brings in the energy which then materializes. And then I pay my bills, staying on my new plateau, manifesting in the world as an artist.  I maintain a state of gratitude to my Angels for their help.

"Jim the Lion" by Laura from my class for adults with developmental disabilities

Following my heart with Art, Art, Art  has kept me so very busy this past month and a half that I haven’t had a second to give to my blog.  Finally a moment to breathe and to reflect has arrived.

Deciding to Follow My Heart was definitely the right decision.   Students continue to trickle in for my small group painting and drawing workshops, my classes with the Seniors continue and my program at BMSI teaching art to people with developmental disabilities continues to grow.  In addition I’m showing at a couple of Art Fairs and Grower’s Market with great response and sales, and the icing on the cake – some strong possibilities for showing in galleries.

"Jeanne d'Arc Hears Her Angels" from my series on Joan of Arc

A very interesting thing happened in the middle of June which further confirms the truth that the Universe Provides if one truly believes and follows their heart.  I heard a program on the radio with Doreen Virtue  speaking about the power of angels on the earth plane.  Before hearing Doreen speak I wasn’t sure if I really believed in angels or not.  I mean, “yeah guardian angels and all that but really… angels are there to help me…..really?”  Surely angels only help other people.

After hearing Doreen’s world view, I for the first time understood the truth of angels and how they contribute to our well-being.

According to Doreen “Angels are part of our physiological makeup – every person has guardian angels around them “in the same way that every person has lungs or a heart,” she said. “It’s something that’s part of our life force here on Earth”, she continued, adding that “angels are not spirits of the deceased, but ego-less beings aligned with the highest purpose.”  She spoke of many cases of angelic intervention, but stressed that our Angels only help us if we ask.

Asking for help, now that’s a concept in direct conflict with my old core belief and the quintessential American understanding that I, a separate individual, must do everything on my own.  But my spiritual belief is and has been for a long time that We’re All Connected, like small drops of water who also are the Sea.  Over the past few months old limiting beliefs created by my separate ego are finally being dissolved by my spiritual beliefs which continue to grow stronger and stronger.

By the end of the program with Doreen Virtue I felt strongly the presence of my angels.  So I started asking for their help.  My bank account was very low and I really had no idea where more money would come from.  My participation in the Corrales Art in the Park was scheduled for the upcoming Sunday of that week.  I never know what kind of sales I’ll make at an event like that and it’s never been more than a few hundred dollars.  Though I’m grateful for whatever money comes my way I knew that I needed more than a couple hundred bucks to be able to meet my July bills.

"The Olive Tree" oil on canvas 40" x 30"

So I asked my angels to please send the right people to my booth who would resonate with and purchase one of my large paintings at the art fair.  Today I am still thanking my angels for delivering on that request.  A nice couple appeared, loved my painting, The Olive Tree, and bought it.  Maybe my angels would like me to do a painting of them in further gratitude.  What do you think?

If you have something you’re struggling with in your life, take a moment to quiet your mind and ask your angels for help.  Apparently these higher dimensional beings really love us and are always here for us.  Could it be that the spiritual advancement of human beings is part of the higher purpose?

And by the way I don’t really think money is the Angels’ main concern – they just wanted to get my attention.  Click here to visit Doreen’s website and learn more about her work with the angels.

I have three small paintings finished on Seed.  I decided to use the Seed of Life as the underlying sacred geometry for the element of seed – I guess that’s a no-brainer of a choice.

I’ll get started on the large Seed painting this week.

I think the large one will go in a more abstract direction like this small one.

I’m getting ahead of myself though w/visions of a painting of a tree and a person and a bird, energy swirling around them all – We’re All Connected.

Be part of my miracle – visit my project page here -   With only 102 more supporters at the level of $25 I’ll reach my goal;  or 2 at the level of $1500 does it too.

Guardians of the Seed, gouache on paper

Recently I’ve been praying and meditating for guidance from my higher self.  I’m seeking an answer to what is the best path to take right now in regards to creating a comfortable living for myself.  Of course the only thing I want to do is pursue my art; but then that seems so impractical.

For the past year and a half I’ve been receiving unemployment. My contract as an art teacher was not renewed by a very abusive principal. We all know that the situation in education has gone from bad to worse , especially for art, so that door is currently closed.

During this time, I have applied for many, many jobs, gotten a few interviews, but landed no work.  Whenever not looking for a job, I was focusing on painting and creating an online presence of my art.

So now I’m back to substitute teaching, which is neither very satisfying or secure, but does offer flexibility.

Journey Thru the Labyrinth, oil on canvas

I continue to consider other options which might be more financially lucrative.

I had thought I’d go back to teaching English as a Second Language abroad.  There’s good money to be made in the East and an exciting experience to be had.  But when push came to shove I just couldn’t do it.  I knew it would have been very disruptive to both creating art and to getting my art into the world.

My mind has raced along in various streams of anxiety as the summer approaches and schools close.  I could develop this career or that, open this business or that.  Yet I always come back to the fact that – Yes, I could do it and probably succeed, but the time commitment involved would almost end my art pursuits.

As I’ve prayed for guidance from my higher self, I realize that I have been getting small and subtle messages, all of which point to maintaining my focus on art.  Then a few days ago the message came in loud and clear.  I was thinking about the art classes I now offer; that I need to attract more students.  So my thoughts went to redesigning the flyer.  An image came flying into my mind’s eye with big bold words that said -

ART, ART, ART
FOLLOW YOUR HEART

She Walks to the Beat of a Different Drummer, gouache on paper

Now if that isn’t a message then I don’t know what is.  To FOLLOW MY HEART, To BE IN THE NOW, to TRUST IN THE UNIVERSE allows an opening to the divine flow.

I think it’ll make a good flyer for art classes too – don’t you?